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i am no good at this life thing.
today i was trying to think about what life would be without God. Because of how i have been the last few weeks...life would honestly be hell without knowing there is a God who knows what I'm going through. Life would be hell if i didn't know there was this Satan dude trying knock me down because he knows I'm not strong enough to stand up for myself. I can't even think of not having a God there for me 24/7/365. I have been struggling with my confidence. A lot. Not fitting in. Not wanting to go to anything at church/InterVarsity/CRU...at all lately. But I go...and in the end it's a good time ..and then I just get home and I feel like crap again. I don't know. My friend Aimee had a talk with me tonight about it at worship team practice tonight. And one of the main lines that really caught my attention that she said was "Having no confidence is like having no confidence in Jesus Christ." I just sat there....it was kinda like a "whoa" moment. Like ... me? not having confidence in Jesus Christ???" NEVER! I didn't really know what to say to that. There is no way I want to live like that.
So something's gotta change. Something's gotta be different. I want to be happy like i used to be. I want the joy that has been stolen from me from some evil dude.
I dont know what to do.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it.
i am no good at this life thing.
today i was trying to think about what life would be without God. Because of how i have been the last few weeks...life would honestly be hell without knowing there is a God who knows what I'm going through. Life would be hell if i didn't know there was this Satan dude trying knock me down because he knows I'm not strong enough to stand up for myself. I can't even think of not having a God there for me 24/7/365. I have been struggling with my confidence. A lot. Not fitting in. Not wanting to go to anything at church/InterVarsity/CRU...at all lately. But I go...and in the end it's a good time ..and then I just get home and I feel like crap again. I don't know. My friend Aimee had a talk with me tonight about it at worship team practice tonight. And one of the main lines that really caught my attention that she said was "Having no confidence is like having no confidence in Jesus Christ." I just sat there....it was kinda like a "whoa" moment. Like ... me? not having confidence in Jesus Christ???" NEVER! I didn't really know what to say to that. There is no way I want to live like that.
So something's gotta change. Something's gotta be different. I want to be happy like i used to be. I want the joy that has been stolen from me from some evil dude.
I dont know what to do.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it.
2 comments:
What are you talking about... your blog is quite the shiz! and I really mean that... lol
haha..i just now found this comment :D
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